Contentment

Restless and impatient I sit in my room

Loneliness consumes every part of my mood

Searching for something to bring me some peace

Reaching towards people, possessions, and dreams

The beast has taken a hold of my heart

I can feel him ripping and tearing me apart

Bitterness and hatred eat away at my soul

I fall deeper and deeper into the disgusting dark hole

I continue to yearn for what this world holds

Deceived once again I long for control

Pursuing my passions and all my desires

Searching to quench this raging wildfire

No longer free, I return to my chains

I put them back on and forget about grace

Arrogantly I depend on my own strength

My weakness magnified more and more each day

My best effort is nothing, I fall to my knees

I drown in my depression and cry myself to sleep

Realizing finally exactly what I’ve become

A failure, alone, without anyone

As I go through my day I submit to the pain

Desperately seeking even more for my gain

It becomes my lord, my idol, my god

It relentlessly beats me ‘til I’m bloodied and raw

In the mirror I see an unfamiliar face

The image of the beast who’s taken my place

I plead for forgiveness and relief from this pain

Desperate I cry, “Lord, please break these chains”

In the midst of the battle I was fighting alone

My Savior comes forth and takes full control

I bow down to Him and surrender it all

Knowing with Him I will never fall

The prodigal’s found and healed by the Son

The war that was waged is finally won

In the eyes of my Father I’m blameless and clean

Remembered no more is my past disloyalty

 

I strip myself of my selfish desires

And humble myself to be lifted higher

I yearn for heaven to crash down to earth

For a glimpse of the Love that showed me my worth

I turn my heart, my eyes, my hands

To the heavens above where Jesus stands

At the right hand of God who is on the throne

I now know for certain this world is not my home

With foolishness gone I will wait for His call

When my Lord will triumph and reign over all

No longer rebellious I stand for His name

My life to bring Him glory, honor and praise