Are you worthy?

These past three weeks I have been blessed to be able to go out onto the OSU campus and evangelize with different people and it has been an amazing growing experience. I used to always desire to share the gospel with people but I never knew how to and I was fearful that I would do it wrong somehow and make it so that whomever I talked to ended up turning away from and rejecting God forever. I think the thing that I needed most was just to have someone instruct me on what one form of evangelization looks like. Im the kind of person who wont do something until I have an idea of what Im supposed to do because I fear that I'll do it wrong. I just needed instruction! Lucky for me on the first day back to school from Spring Break Dan Nelson came into our class and taught on evangelization. Just the thing I needed!

God has been teaching me so much since I've been sharing the gospel on campus and one of the biggest things He's been showing me is humility. Not really something that I enjoy learning about but definitely something that is so good to learn. Last Wednesday Tasha, Michelle and I went out onto campus without any materials to use to aid in preaching the gospel. The first few times I talked with people I used a survey as the ice breaker and then the "Four Spiritual Laws" booklet to help me stay on track when sharing the gospel. This last time however we had nothing to help us and we had nothing to use as an ice breaker. If you're introverted and intimidated like I can be then you'd probably be just as terrified as I was knowing I had to do it without any help. But was I really without help? Nope, thankfully Jesus left us with the Holy Spirit as our Counselor!

To be completely honest I didn't even get far enough to share the gospel when talking to different students on campus. I did however get laughed at by two girls and had to endure people looking at me like I was insane. It was humbling to have an understanding of what those people were thinking about me because not too long ago I had been a nonbeliever who mocked Christians and Evangelists thinking that they were off of their rocker. I knew what they were thinking; and hearing the shrill laughter surround the Library Quad as Tasha and I walked away from our attempt at sharing the Truth with two girls, that was humbling. As I was reading through 1 Corinthians I found comfort in what Paul wrote about the Spirit of God and His role in discerning truth. Paul wrote, "We have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit who is from God, that we may understand what God has freely given us. This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught be the Spirit, expressing spiritual truths in spiritual words. The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned" (1 Corinthians 12-14). The reason for why those who are without the Spirit of God do not understand the Word of God, and why they don't accept it. Remembering this it is much easier to shrug off the crazy looks I can get from people while speaking Truth to them and it also gives me more sensitivity and compassion for those who call the gospel foolishness. They cannot discern the spiritual things because they are without the Spirit of God.

I had started to beat myself up over what I had and had not said to those girls when Tasha promptly gave me a verbal slap in the face that was much needed. It's not about what I say or how I look while I say it, rather it's about God's glory. I've said it many times before and I'll say it again because it is so true, it's always important to remember that this life is about glorifying God even if that means making myself look like a fool! Only after my poor, poor selfish ego had licked its wounds, I was able to realize that I should be rejoicing because I was laughed at!

"The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the Name."   Acts 5:41

I never before understood how anyone could rejoice because they had suffered disgrace. I wanted to so badly to be able to rejoice but I never thought that I could. Only after I had been laughed at did I understand better what that meant. It is so amazing to realize that you've been counted worthy to suffer disgrace! Praise Jesus when you're persecuted! You're counted worthy! I think I remember someone saying that once they go for a while without facing any persecution they begin to wonder what's wrong because living in this world following Jesus Christ you will  be persecuted and mocked and spit on. Jesus was. He even said, "Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, and persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they 
persecuted the prophets who were before you."  Matthew 5: 10-12. Don't you want to live a life so completely sold out to Jesus that you are counted worthy to be persecuted for His Name?! I don't mean that we go searching for persecution but it's because our lives are so different from what the world says is "normal".

The most important thing to remember also is that it's not our job to save people, that's God's job. It's not our responsibility to change hearts, I think Ryan said that the thing that we're called to is faithfulness and obedience. We're blessed enough to be used by God in order to most clearly preach the gospel but it's God's job to save. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians, "What, after all, is Apollos? And what is Paul? Only servants, through whom you came to believe- as the Lord has assigned to each his task. I planted the seed, Apollos watered it but God made it grow. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow." (1 Corinthians 3:5-7) I love how Paul writes that neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything but only God! Somehow it is so comforting and wonderful to know that I am nothing and that the work is all on God's shoulders! It takes such a weight off knowing that it's God's job. And it's great to realize that the Holy Spirit is already working on peoples hearts and it's His job to convict people and pursue people. Again, we're just called to be obedient and speak the words of truth.

I also love how in 1 Corinthians Paul shows just how inadequate he was at preaching the gospel to the Corinthians. He said, "When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you in the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. I came to you in weakness and fear, and with much trembling. My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power" (1 Corinthians 2:1-5). In our weakness God is glorified. When we're preaching the gospel it's not so that we can look wise and it has nothing to do with how persuasive we are with our argument for Christ. We don't need to defend God. We're not selling a product, we're speaking the truth. Paul went to them with fear and trembling and in his weakness and God's power was demonstrated. God's looking for people who are willing to go out for him, not because they're wise and persuasive but because they're willing to be used amidst their inadequacies so that God can receive glory!

It is definitely clear to me that by stepping out in faith and stepping out of my comfort zone God meets me where I'm at. That's one thing God has been teaching me these past few weeks, if I make one step forward He'll meet me. As far as I can go He'll go the rest of the way but I need to put some effort into acting on what He's called me to do. We're not called to be passive Christians but to actively pursue a life of righteousness and actively live lives sold out for the Lord.

A man named Gary came into our class last week and he was talking about his ministry over in Europe. One of the things that he said that really stuck with me was, what are you willing to endure for a soul? How much are you willing to suffer being laughed at or made fun of in order to save a soul? Would you be willing to be laughed at, spit on, and mocked 50 times? Would it be worth it all if the 51st person you talked to wanted to accept Christ?

Paul said that on the Day when all things will be brought to light the work of each man will be shown for what it is, "and the fire will test the quality of each man's work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames" (1 Corinthians 3:14-15). We only get one chance at this life and our days are numbered. What are you going to live them for? What are you going to build while you're on this earth? Will you build that which perishes in the fire or will you build what survives the fire, the imperishable? What are you willing to endure for a soul? How much is too much? What are you willing to sacrifice? Is it worth it to be laughed at 50 times if the 51st person is saved?